I just have to share something with you. If I had to experience it, I think it’s only fair that you do too.
Yesterday I endured my monthly trip to Meijer to shop for groceries. I have a real aversion to grocery shopping for some reason, but apparently my children want to eat on a daily basis, so alas, I do what I gotta do.
Timing Is Everything
If I go too early in the morning, I get there in time for senior citizen’s social hour. Lots of slow moving traffic, motorized scooters and chit chat blocking the aisles.
If I go a little bit later in the day there are lots of mommies with young children who also take up lots of aisle space and tend to whine and cry a lot.
I don’t go at night because there are lots of people there who have worked outside the home all day and are none too friendly and in a hurry and just get the hell out of their way
I definitely can’t go on the weekends, far too many people and I don’t really like people all that well.
The ideal time for me to go is around 2:30pm. Most of the mommies are gone and getting ready to pick up their other kiddos from school or start to make dinner for their brood. Also most of the senior citizens are home golfing, working in the yard or getting ready to go to dinner to get the Early Bird Special.
Since I try to only go once a month, it’s no easy feat to pile four week’s worth of groceries strategically in the cart, hope I didn’t get one with a bum wheel and not smash the loaf of bread with the wine. Though I must say yesterday was going fairly uneventful. That is, until I rounded the corner and entered aisle 12.
Grandpa Scootsalong was in a motorized scooter. I don’t have a problem with that. Some days my feet don’t work so well either and hey, he’s still out and about. Fantastic, right? Except that he had one of his legs elevated up on the handle bars.
Ok, I can still handle that. He had on some sort of knee brace. Perhaps he just had a knee replacement and needed to keep it elevated. I give the man credit for being at the store on his own.
But the man had shorts on and his do-hickey was peeking out of his pant leg. Eww eww eww.
Put your leg down, Grandpa. We don’t need to see your minivan with two flat tires. O…M…G!
Needless to say, I lost my appetite and didn’t eat dinner last night. Aren’t you glad I shared? Now you too need to wash your eyes out with vinegar!
Have a nice day!
Laurie Laughlin: Funny Motivational Humorist Speaker
Laurie Laughlin, is a Funny Motivational Speaker who lost her parents and her home at a young age, lost a job that she truly enjoyed, lost her health, her entire life savings, and she even lost the ability to trust and to feel safe. But the one thing she never lost is her sense of humor.
With a degree in Homeland Security, background in lie detecting, direct sales, and stand up comedy, she now enjoys her days as a corporate keynote speaker.
In her most requested program about resilience, Laurie shows audiences how they can use laughter to push through difficult times to keep going despite setbacks and challenges.
Laurie loves her basset hounds, strong coffee, crossword puzzles, and witty banter.
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