As some of you may have heard, marijuana is legal now in Michigan. And I lose my bloody mind every time I get behind a mystery van and Shaggy is all geeked out on Scooby snacks.
I know they’re just looking to get their Cheesy Gordita Crunch on. The upside is that my Taco Bell stock is going to allow me to retire.
I’m trying to look on the bright side: All these potheads are keeping us from having to fix the potholes. If they’re only driving 17 mph, there’s no need to raise the gas tax to fix the darn roads.
We need to re-do the speed limit signs though and make them speed minimums. If a jogger passes you, please speed up. There are no school zones on 131.
At least 20-car pileups will be a thing of the past. We’ll have a hard time getting 2 cars to pile up, when they can’t get out of 1st gear. It’s hard to get hit by a Prius going 4 mph.
But those of us who don’t smoke the devil’s lettuce are going to suffer from ROAD RAGE because we’re all hopped up on our drug of choice, Satan’s Sauce: Starbucks.
We need to figure out how to co-exist, because uppers and dowers on the same road is a bad pairing. Stoners think they’re driving on a cloud; and I’m driving my Subaru like it’s on a Hot Wheels track.
If I’m going to get enough momentum to blast off into a loop, you’re going to have to STEP ON IT. The gas pedal is the one on the right. GO GO GO GO GOOOOOOOOO
Laurie Laughlin: Funny Motivational Humorist Speaker
Laurie Laughlin, is a Funny Motivational Speaker who lost her parents and her home at a young age, lost a job that she truly enjoyed, lost her health, her entire life savings, and she even lost the ability to trust and to feel safe. But the one thing she never lost is her sense of humor.
With a degree in Homeland Security, background in lie detecting, direct sales, and stand up comedy, she now enjoys her days as a corporate keynote speaker.
In her most requested program about resilience, Laurie shows audiences how they can use laughter to push through difficult times to keep going despite setbacks and challenges.
Laurie loves her basset hounds, strong coffee, crossword puzzles, and witty banter.
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